Midwestern Suburban Dad

I'm Suing, Durnit!

Well, you knew it had to happen.

Some bimbo in Tennessee is suing - somebody - because she believes that Janet Jackson's right boob is as dangerous as Al Qaeda, destroying lives and ruining futures for generations to come.

Well, y'know what? If the "implied contract" that - whoever - has with the viewing public "to not subject them to sexually explicit acts during what should have been family entertainment" is basis enough to win this farce, then I'm going to sue as well.

Had I not believed this implied contract - had I not been lulled into a false sense of security by my trust that Super Bowl Halftimes are just badly lip-synced photo ops for pop culture icons - then I would have been watching. However, because of my trust in this contract, I was not watching, and my opportunity to be witness to this historic event was denied. I may suffer who-knows-what sort of damages since I can't be in that class of people who directly witnessed it. I'm left out. I'm dislocated. Marginalized. All because I thought that network TV would never do such a thing, or even allow it.

I don't know who you are, but I'll see you in court.

Truth in Reporting

DO NOT OPEN AT WORK OR AROUND YOUR KIDS.

The Real reason she was fired.

It seems not even small-to-mid market media outlets are immune to the aftershocks of public disclosure of falseness and contrivance by reporters and others who put their names out there for the consuming public.

Just like The New York Times, CNN and other major entities, Youngstown Ohio's WKBN is reeling from the uncovering of a couple of fabrications that had been operating in their midst for some time.

"What's disturbing," uttered one unnamed colleague, "is that these things get pumped up way out of proportion. I mean, really, there's not all that much to it."

Jackomalarkey

I really don't know which is worse, the fact that so many people's lives are empty and vapid enough to give a damn about it, or that the media are so willing to continuously refill the Jacko buffet.

In my neck o' the woods, there's a man who's been accused of child molestation. I even worked with this guy for awhile, and, apart from his 'Harry Potter' reading habit in the smoking lounge, there wasn't anything outwardly goofy about him. But he's been accused of convincing a 12-year-old girl to 'lap dance' for him.

Maybe that's it. He's an otherwise unnoticeable schmoe - just a working stiff who crossed a major no-no line; Michael Jackson is a media event in and of himself, whether it be baby-dangling, hair on fire or a 7th new nose.

For my money, though, I'd rather get the lowdown on the guy who'd diddling 7th graders in my back yard than any California contrivance. The national media have more important things to spend their limited time and bandwidth on.